The slightest noise or touch is setting me off right now. It's times like this when the irrational thoughts begin to take over.....

Why?

Today is a bad day. Not for any particular reason but just because the tiniest noise is setting me into a panic. I'm not an angry person at all but the more anxious I get the more angry I become. More than anything I need a vacation, a vacation from from the kids, from my surroundings, everything. I know it'll be impossible to afford but I would give anything to go on a trip with only Ryan, just the two of us, away from the world. Maybe I could save up for a cruise? HAHAHA! Right. Oh well, I can dream and sometimes it feels good just to escape in my mind away from the whining and crying of my everyday life.

Why is today different from yesterday? I am current on my meds and yet I feel as if there is a weight on my chest and everything is amplified in my brain. Doctors haven't been able to help me for 7 years, I feel like I am all alone in the bottom of a deep pit and no matter who throws me a rope, they're always too short. Help.